Monday, January 19, 2015
This too shall pass
I have been faced with a double whammy yesterday and today-Yesterday was my husband's birthday and today he has been gone for exactly two months. I have been experiencing somewhat roller-coaster days... one minute I feel okay and somewhat balanced and the next minute sorrow tries to creep in and take over.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, whatever your belief is will become a huge stepping stone on your journey. Yesterday when the sorrow tried to creep in, I took a long hot shower and as I allowed the water to completely envelope me, I silently asked for the water spirits to cleanse my aura and to seal any gaps my energy may have. As I was doing this, it felt wonderful. The warm water flowing down my energy... cleansing all of the negative thoughts away, sealing any holes there may have been .... it was just a wonderful experience. I truly felt better for a little while after the shower, but then it hit me again that it was my husband's birthday.
Early this morning at 1:00 AM just as it did last month (December), I woke up with a horrible sorrow. At 1:00 AM is when I found my husband in the hospital bed dead. So today, has not been the best day I have had. The weekend before I took my husband to the hospital, he had an episode during the night and he mumbled (because he was losing his speech) to help him. This morning when I took Sweetie outside to go to the restroom, one of my neighbors across the street was standing on his porch saying help me!
I got over to him as fast as I could with Sweetie freaking out because she does not like strangers... but if I hadn't stopped him, he was about to fall down the porch stairs. After I got one of his family members outside to help him get inside, as I was walking across the street I thought I was going to faint. The only thing I could think of was getting Sweetie and myself into the house. Once inside I felt like I was in shock because when I heard my neighbor asking for help, all I could hear was my husband from that weekend asking me for help.
Even though each of us goes through these kind of emotions today, tomorrow will be different. If we feel we need to be sad and grieve today, that is what we need to do. We hope tomorrow will be brighter, and if it is that will be wonderful, if it isn't we will get through it the best way we can. To be honest, there are a lot of days that I do not know how to make things better... I feel dead inside, but once Sweetie comes over to me and nuzzles my arm or hand, or she squeezes her head between my arm (yeah, I know don't ask) I swear everything changes.
Sweetie, my little darling has truly whole-heartedly been my lifesaver. If I could give anyone grieving a piece of advice today, it would be PLEASE get yourself a dog or cat. Sweetie is my daily prescription of happiness. If not for her, it scares me to think where I may be.
If you decide to get yourself a dog or a cat.. please go online and check your local animal shelters. There are a lot of animals that need someone to love, and they need someone to love them back. I adopted Sweetie from a shelter and today, I thank the Divine every day for bringing her to me. It has been a hard road for her because whoever owned her before must have treated her horrible....she is scare to death of everything. But now that it is just her and I, I think we are good for each other and helping each other get through our sadness and hurt.
Speaking of... she is laying at my office doorway looking at me as if to say, Okay Mom it is my time now... let's go outside!
This is my little Sweetie-2014