Monday, May 18, 2015
Once upon a time, there use to be this thing called love. Then came along the internet, the world wide lake of the internet; where there were trillion of fish swimming around. Many, lonely people would take their fishing poles to the web and sit for just moments and caught more on their line than could ever be expressed.
As each person reeled in their catch all they could think about was I will love you forever and ever. But once they looked over their shoulders and seen what the other people caught, they turned to look at their catch again and the words I will love you forever and ever became something else too sad to express.
Many fish have been thrown back into the world wide lake of the internet only to lay dormant on the bottom of the floor, in shocked, in pain, never wanting to surface again because of the heartache. In the world of cyber you can be anything you want, you can say anything you want, you can look any way you want. Think about it, who really knows except for you if what you are putting out there is real or pretend?
Many people will open their hearts, they actually get high from emotions that seem real but come to find out many things were only lies and deception. Who is really the blame? Can we actually always blame the other person? Aren't WE at blame too... shouldn't we know better? Shouldn't we learn after hundreds of attempts to try and find true love from the world wide lake of the internet - that it is not always what it appears to be?
I think about things like this a lot. I am just like millions of other women I have been reeled in with deceptions and lies, I have been hurt, cried many of nights over situations I had no control over. I have found love and lost him to cancer - but even he lied to me in the very beginning. So not everything that comes from the world wide lake of the internet is bullshit - sometimes things may have a little seaweed attached to them, but once you get passed that, sometimes you will find what you are looking for.
I have been around the internet for many, many moons and have known many people and have actually met some in people-dated a few, married one. Some the meetings were wonderful, some of them were not and yes, there has been a time or two I was somewhat scared.
The games that are played online are very sick. What many people do not understand is online when we develop feelings, it is a spiritual connection... something that fully outweighs the physical part. That is why we are hurt differently and yet more strongly than being hurt in person. When you are messing with someone's spirit you are biting off more than you ever realize.
I left the web for a few years because I was sick of the lies, deception, hurt, and bullshit. I have to admit, that has been rambling on in my mind again. I am way too old to play games and besides to be a 100% honest I am not worth a shit at games because I do not play them. This is what you get if you don't like it - fish for someone else.
Not everyone is out there to play games with you, I have met some beautiful friends that I cherish with all of my heart. I have met people who said they were a friend but only because they wanted to hook up with my guy friends... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE; if you can see this. It is people like you that poisons the World Wide Lake of the Internet for many others.
The bottom line, there will always be two sides to every coin. Think about who you open up too .. think about all of the possibilities and opportunities there are for people to lie to you. Always walk with caution before you open your spirit to people who say they care, but most important, be above those people and DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH PEOPLE'S HEARTS!
Sunday, May 17, 2015
To Ink or Not to Ink
That is the question
Life's really funny sometimes you know. Many of us go around in our own little worlds because we do not fit into societies concept of what a normal life is. So within our own little worlds we run free so speak, thinking we actually do not give shit about what other people say or how they think about us. Guess what in a crazy-kind-of-way that is bullshit too!
With summer here, my usual everyday wardrobe consist of racer back shirts-therefore my ink in all of its glory is seen with no hiding at all. Why should I have to hide it anyway? My ink tells the story of my late husband's battle with cancer, his recovery and his death. As I was thinking about this the other day my first thought was, "You dumb ass... why carry the story of someone's journey on your arm?" But then it hit me, his story also became my story because I walked every step of his journey with him.
It's not paranoia when you 'think' you see someone staring at your ink. All you have to do is have common sense and follow their eyes. It is like women with large breast, often when they are having conversations with someone, the other person eyes are focused on the woman's breast. It is the same with tattoos.
I am pretty use to having people stare at my arms, some will admire it, some will think it is sick and others will get prejudge me and think I am something I am not. Having people stare in one thing.. but if you listen closely, sometimes you will hear how people really feel about ink and especially ink on women. Sometimes, it truly is a sad fucking world we live in.
So the magic question is this: to ink or not to ink, that is the question. My ink truly tells a story... so every inch of it means as much to me as the earlier ones I got years and years ago. Would I change any of it? Hell no, I would not. It is easier for me to ignore and close the door on people who want to judge me and/or think my ink is disgusting - than it would be for me to not have someone I want because others do not approve.
My ink is a part of who I am... I do not condemn others for not having tattoos... sometimes I do wonder why some people do not ink, but it's not any of my business. If you want to prejudge me because of my ink, that is your right-it's pretty simple really just stay the fuck away from me. If you do have ink NEVER let someone bring you down if your ink tells a story or means something very special to you. If you have ink and wish you didn't, you can either have it covered with something that means something more to you and/or you can have it removed with laser surgery.
This is your show, dance the story however you want to regardless of what others say. They will never walk in your shoes, on your path the way you do.