Sunday, January 18, 2015
Even the Moon Brings Memories
The first night at home after my husband's death, I was sitting outside and was looking at the moon. It was going into the New Moon (or Dark Moon whatever you want to call it) and I can remember how there was only a sliver of the moon showing. This morning two days before his second month of being gone, the moon was the same way as the night he passed.
A Tibetan Master refers to the New Moon as a time to breathe calmly. It is said in this state you can watch your emotions and not be affected by them. During the New Moon your higher self gives you visions of your true purpose because during the New Moon represents 'New Beginnings'.
I can tell you during the night of my husband's death, I was anything but calm...the one thing that did hold true for me was it was a time of new beginnings. Once you are left alone without your spouse, you have one of two choices... 1. you honor yourself and give yourself time to grieve than get up and start a new journey on your own, OR 2. you simply give up. You may have days where you feel like giving up but as I mentioned in other post the next day you will feel different.
Facts are facts, you will never be the same after your spouse passes. When they died, they take a piece of your heart with them. But with whatever faith you believe in, you can and will survive even something as horrible as this. But the true bottom line is, is it up to you how you want to handle this. It is not up to other people to tell you how to feel or how to react, this is your call. That does not mean you have to be a bitch about it, listen and hear what your friends and family are saying...but YOU decide how much of the information you want or need to incorporate into your well-being.
I was wondering this morning, will I always remember and relive the night my husband died when I see the crescent moon? Isn't it somewhat funny how it is always the tiny little things that can often grab our attention and leave memories for a lifetime. Messages are given to each of us each and every day. The afternoon before my husband passed, ravens/crows told me they were there to take him. Of course I did not want to believe it, but they did. Again, though, it depends on what your faith is as to what you believe or not believe. Being part Cherokee, I follow my spirit and connection to the earth and the messages we are given. People that believe in Christianity like my husband did, believed that whatever happened was in God's hand.
Your faith regardless of what it is, will become a powerful stepping stone for you. Soon you will be able to at least accept the fact that things do happen in life and it is up to use to make the memories we want to carry on. We honestly only have this minute, and it takes building from this minute to either live and move forward, or close yourself off to life. Just remember this one thing, you are a strong individual, you may not believe that at the moment, but you are. I hate cliché's that say: this experience is what makes us who we are, but in the 57 years of life I have seen, every experience has made me into the person I am today, The same thing goes for you as well. Just think about it......