Is there Light at the End of the tunnel-Part Four

Light at the End of the Path Poster by WhiteOaksPhotos

When you are a caregiver for a person who has brain cancer along with other kinds of cancer all at once, you spend a lot of time taking care of that person and you spend a lot of time doing research.  You are always trying to find ways to help, or to make things easier for both the patient and yourself.   You have people that offer to help and others that tell you that if you need anyone to talk to, just give them a call.  My family has been a blessing to both me and my husband by just being there and offering to do anything they can do to help.  

The day I asked the doctor how all of this was going to turn out, I cried for two and half solid days.  I did try talking to a neighbor who recently lost her son to cancer and at first I thought that would really help, but in my heart it made things worst.  It was nothing she did, she did what she said she would do and that was listen and help if she could.  But when you are in shock and your emotions are flip-flopping, unfortunately, there is nothing anyone can do or say to ease your pain.  I have tried joining online support groups, so I try to write out what I am feeling but that truly did not work for me... I have tried in the beginning to write post on a different site that did not help either.  For me I am just not sure what to do, so my last resort was to write on my blog about this whole experience. I am hoping for two things by writing this up, (1) I truly hope that somehow this will help others who are caregivers and (2) I hope to find some of my own answers along the way.

When you are caring for a person that has brain cancer along with other cancer (s) you can expect a lot of heartache.  You try to do everything possible to help, so you keep giving them medication to take away some of the pain.  You spend a lot of money trying to find any food or drink that they may like to help keep their energy up, but when nothing taste good or it hurts to swallow, you just give them anything liquid that they request.  You will do this regardless if it is the only thing they consume all day.  You will become that desperate for them to eat something.  At first my husband could get down protein shakes-but they became too cold and he said thick to swallow. Now I have him eating yogurt but noticed last night he would not eat the fruit.  However, he will eat frozen grapes and drink cold Gatorade. And now he craves cold fruit smoothies like Mr. Misty's (slush ice and fruit.)

All of my life I have told I am stubborn as a mull, and you know what that is never going to change.  I refuse to accept the fact that nothing else can be done for my husband except to  make him comfortable as the doctors say.  Unfortunately, this past weekend, I was forced to see things differently and that my friends has to be the worst part of this whole thing.

To Be Continued.....

Is there Light at the end of the Tunnel-Part Three

Light at the End of the Path Poster by WhiteOaksPhotos

Alright, let's face it, we are sick and tired of getting telephone calls from doctors.  When the phone rang we were actually outside and by the time I got into the house the doctor just hung up-he left a message on my answering machine that we needed to call him back as soon as possible.  So I immediately called him and heard what I never thought I would hear. The MRI results found a small spot on my husband's brain and he needs to have radiation done, which also meant another doctor. Chemo had to be placed on hold for a while.

The new radiation doctor explained to us and SHOWED us the results from the MRI.  If the "small spot" was small than I am a freaking millionaire and I promise I am NOT that! The cancer mass on my husbands brain is large.  It is large enough that unfortunately I pulled the doctor aside and asked him flat out how serious this was and he told me!  If you are ever in this position and you want to the know the truth, be careful what you ask for because you will damn well get it!

One of my main concerns was, why in the hell was this cancer not found sooner! Guess what, when you have an evasive cancer and you are going through chemo, the cancer runs and tries to hide from the chemo therefore it makes a b-line to the brain because chemo does not go to the brain.  That is what happened in my husbands case, the cancer hauled ass to the brain in that short of a time.  The radiation doctor told me that at this point, all we can do is make my husband as comfort as possible.  The doctors plan is to put my husband through 10 radiation treatments (we have 6 down and 4 to go) except now my husband is having a very hard finishing the treatments. Friday he was having such a rough day that he stressed out and could not breathe when they were setting him up for his treatment, so they had to cancel it.


To be continued.......

Is there Light at the end of the tunnel-Part Two

Light at the End of the Path Poster by WhiteOaksPhotos

After hearing the doctor say those dreadful words 'Its a Matter of Life or Death' what choice did we have but to get off our ass and do something.  The doctor in Atlanta did not pan out for us, in between scheduling, insurance screw ups, traffic and wasting time, my husband and I decided to find our own doctor.

Yes, we did a Google search and we did find another doctor who performed the operation my husband needed which was bladder removal using robotics.  Obviously today not a lot of doctors do bladder removal the old fashion way because we had a hard time finding one.  When all is said and done, weeks of times were wasted and out only thought was how much further in the bladder is the cancer spreading!

The new doctor we found was not playing any games, he said he was going to run a ton of test to make sure he knew of everything going on.  Who would have guess you could have so many different scans done! NOT to mention in the process of all of these scans we found out that my husband is allergic to contrast!  So be warned.. we did not know this until I did research online... if you have contrast injected one of the side effects could be shortness of breath and uneasy breathing.  If you have that problem, that is a sign you are having an allergic reaction to contrast, so be sure to inform your doctor of this! Oh, just a FYI after I brought this to the nurses attention; the reaction my husband had was in fact a sign he was  allergic to the contrast.

The day the scan results came in.......

Oh, happy joy, joy when we were sitting in the doctors office waiting on him, we tried really hard to not allow our minds to go places where they shouldn't go..... Once doc walked we both knew.. they found something else, damn-it!  The doctor had my husband go to several different specialist including a kidney doctor, heart doctor and cancer doctor. The doctor explained an area showed up in his chest and he needed to have it biopsied.  So hear we go again, more doctor visits, more test and guess what, cancer was showing up everywhere! When we finally got settled in with the cancer doctor there we found out that my husbands cancer has spread to five other locations.  The Cancer doctor explained that if they were to go in and start removing all of the cancerous places, it would make him feel like a butcher shop, so the plan was CHEMO!

When you hear the word CHEMO you automatically go to the thought, damn I am going to lose my hair.  This is actually true, we had to take a Chemo 101 class to teach us all of the side effects and how to handling them and the lady said when the majority of the people hear the word Chemo they automatically go to the though of losing their hair.

The plan was to do three strong sessions of chemo than have my husband examined again.  Each chemo session involves, one long dose of chemo one week, the second week a smaller dose of chemo and the third week you are off which mean no chemo injections.  We were at the cancer center for eight and half hours for the first chemo visit, four and half hours during the second chemo visit.  My husband was holding up pretty fair... until the sodium in his blood starting to drop.  When this happens, moods change, movement becomes harder, you feel disoriented, confused and very very low energy!  During the second session of the Chemo, my husband stopped being the man I knew and was becoming someone else. I brought it to the attention of the nurse and doctor and they decided my husband needed to have a MRI. Here we freaking go again, another scan which my husband was not crazy about anyway... he has developed a cast of claustrophobia so having the MRI done was not a thrill for him.  The very next day we got a telephone call from the doctor..... OMG!!!!


To be continued........

Is there light at the end of the tunnel-Part One

Light at the End of the Path Poster by WhiteOaksPhotos

For the lack of better words, what the hell!  Let's start at the beginning and see if I can make any sense of this. A few years ago, my husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He went through a few operations where the doctor went in and scraped the tumor from his bladder.  Along with a couple of those operations, he had to go through six weeks of TB therapy where they actually injected the tuberculosis virus into the bladder to kill the cancer cells. After the six weeks my husband had to go back into surgery for a check up and the doctor told us that he was cancer free!  What a feeling of relief and joy and any other positive emotion you could think of.

After this battle with the cancer my husband decided that we were going to live and enjoy life to the fullest. We got a motorcycle and took beautiful rides up through the mountains just riding strong and riding free.  Life was so freaking beautiful that both of us thought we were the luckiest people in the world.  We were thankful beyond belief and so grateful that often we would just sit in silent just emerging in this beautiful feeling of blissfulness. 

During our motorcycle trips and rides I wrote a lot and I also took a lot of photos.  My husband got this bright idea that he wanted to get me some very good photography equipment so I could make my dream of being a published photographer come true.  So needless to say, during our rides  I was able to capture some pretty cool photos.

June of this year (2014) my husband got a Harley Soft Tail motorcycle and decided we needed a good cruiser bike so we could take a lot of weekend trips to different locations. Not only for the beautiful rides, not only for the sense of freedom and relaxation, but also so I could do a lot of photography.  Very shortly after we got the Harley Soft Tail and only took a couple of rides, my husband started to feel week, low energy and worst he started to have blood in his urine again...in this case a sure sign the cancer was back.

By the end of June (2014) my husband was back into the hospital and the doctor went in and began to scrape his bladder again.  The surgery was taking longer this time which had me concern, when the doctor came out into the waiting room, I swear my heart dropped.  In previous operations everyone in the waiting room was given a buzzer and when the family member was out of surgery, we would get buzzed to let us know the doctor would meet us in the private room to go over the surgery with us.  Not this time, the doctor came out into the waiting room to get me and took me back to a private room.  Yes, I was freaking but I was trying so damn hard to maintain my composer. My mind was screaming STOP and tell me what in the hell in going on!  The doctor must have sensed that because before we got into the room he let me know my husband came through the operation okay.

Once we were in the private room, he told me the worst news.... the cancer had spread to the muscle of the bladder, therefore the doctor was recommending us to another doctor in Atlanta.  What this meant was my husbands bladder was going to have to be removed.  The doctor explained to us that once cancer gets into the muscle it moves quickly.  Basically, this cancer is evasive and moves fast! When the doctor called our home to inform us that he found us a doctor in Atlanta, he made it a point to tell us the urgency of this situation, he actually said the urgency was a matter of life and death!

To be continued............

Inspirational Fairy Adoption Center

Back in 2007-08 I use to make little Inspirational Fairy Dolls. For each sale (adoption) I had a web site that I posted the adoption information on. Believe it or not this project brought a lot of smiles and joy to folks. Instead of having a web page, I now have a blog and this page will be used to list all of the adoption information for my new Inspirational Fairy Dolls .

Each Fairy is a OOAK piece of art. No two fairies will ever be completely the same.  Each fairy comes with her own birth card and small pouch of 'Fairy Dust'.

If you are interested in seeing which Little Fairies are up for adoption here is a link: WhiteOak Art Designs-Inspirational Fairies  As I make new ones, I will list them so be sure to check back often. Who knows you may find one that calls for you to take her home.

Okay, Here are the most recent adoptions:

                                               

This is "Whispers" she was adopted by Dawn-South Carolina     on September 25, 2014.

Whisper's message is:

"The Inspirational Faeries have a secret language that they speak to their new adoptive parent. The messages are heard right above a gentle whisper. The message always relates to good emotions. It could be joy, happiness or healing and in many cases all three!"

     

 This is "Rebel" she was adopted by Chelsea-South            Carolina  on October 8, 2014. Rebel's message is:

"Little Rebel is a reminder that each of us has a rebel seed within. The fact of the matter is only a few will allow the rebel side to come out.  Always remember, even a rebel has a gentle side."

This is "GaiaLynn" she was adopted by: Jamie-Wyoming on October 17, 2014. GaiaLynn's message is:

"GaiaLynn reminds us that each precious gift we are given in life comes from Earth Mother-Gaia. We are reminded that only Gaia can give us unconditional love through her care and nurturing." 

Beautiful Southern Spring

Spring in the South

The one thing I love about living in the South is Springtime when the flowers begin to bloom.  I cannot honestly choose just one or two favorites because I love them all.  This is a collection of some of my recent photography that I uploaded to FineArt.  This is just a small collection hoping to share with you some of the beauty I see of the New Season.

 

 Spring Delight

 

Macro White Azalea Flower

   

 Macro Clematis Flower

 

 Snow White Azaleas

   

 Dogwood Flow

   

 Cluster of Dogwood Blossoms

Here is wishing you a beautiful Springtime in hopes that you too are getting outside and enjoying the beauty that nature is giving us.  Don't forget, beauty seen through the lens of a camera is something that will be remembered for a very long time.

Journals

Journals by whiteoak56 on Polyvore

Hummingbird Melody Note Books from Zazzle.com
zazzle.com

Earth Day 2014 Note Book from Zazzle.com
zazzle.com

Heavens Mist Spiral Notebooks from Zazzle.com
zazzle.com

Dragonfly Notebooks from Zazzle.com
zazzle.com

Morning Journals

Morning Journals by whiteoak56 on polyvore.com

TGIF

My New Tattoo Design (Hopefully)

Who would have thought that a person that works online would look forward to Friday?  I mean really, it is not like we have a time clock and have to punch out every time we turn around-but today is different!!

TGIF for me today means I cannot wait until tomorrow!! Why you ask? Tomorrow I am getting another tattoo to finish off my dragonfly tattoo...I decided that I am going to get an apple blossom flower tattoo with some of the limb showing and my dragonfly sitting on top of it! The picture above is the flower I want-it is one of my photos that I took at the Botanical Gardens and it happens to be one of my favorites from that day... So if all goods well, tomorrow I will have it tattooed on my arm!

I spent yesterday working on a design that I will post below.  My newest creations so to speak... with all of this being said, I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and able to work out in your garden, take a motorcycle ride or even get a tattoo :-D I am hope for all three myself not to sound greedy or anything!

Okay, my newest creations!!

Dragonfly by WhiteOaksPhotos

Spirit Feathers and Thunderbird by WhiteOaksPhotos

Thoughts of Earth Day

The Earth is our Mother

An artist/photography and/or writer can get up in the morning and have thoughts for how and what they will do for the day.  But from many years of experience I have learned, you will get up and whatever you are suppose to create that day will manifest.

This morning when I got up I had full intentions to work on more of my photography and getting it posted on some sites.  But instead what happens?  I start working with my graphic arts with Earth Day on my mind!

Earth Day-April 22, 2014 is a very special day for me.  It is a day that many people will pull together and do something good for the earth and many will even set a new goal for that year.  It will be a goal that will involve doing something good for our environment and although I wish Earth Day was 365 days for everyone, I will take the one day if that means they will stick to something for the year that will help the earth.

The list is endless of things you can change and do for Earth Day,  Every year now for many, many moons I make a commitment to doing something that I know will help with the earth.  It does not matter how big or small the idea is, the main thing is sticking to the commitment.  If recycling everything is too much for you do, take one item and make a commitment to recycling it.  Like newspaper, plastic containers, and so on.  Just by doing that one tiny thing will help a lot more than you can ever imagine.

I am sure I will be writing more about this-so be sure to follow my blog and leave me note if you do and I will follow you back.  Have a Blessed Day everyone!  Here are a few of my new designs for Earth Day 2014.




The EarthMother Pillow by WhiteOaksPhotos

Earth Day 2014 by WhiteOaksPhotos

Springtime in Georgia-Part One

Here we are, spring has officially arrived in the south, except this week we are having a cold front coming in. For all of those that lives in the south, we take advantage of those warmer days in between the chilly days and do what we can do.  I thought it would be interesting to share a little about my first few days of Spring so far.

I have learned a few things that could help with pest little critters in our yard.  Of course we do not want hurt them, we just want to keep them out of our flower beds and veggies!!  Here a few of my post I have written so far:

Spicy Squirrel Mix:  Yes, Virginia this does work or should I say it did work for me

Second Day of Spring:  Okay we are five days into the official date of Spring-and so far I have been a busy little bee, do I have spring fever?  You Betcha!!

First Day of Spring:  Aww, the things we think about that we need to do and trying find time to do them can be a huge chore within itself!

Planting Bags:  Okay this may not be new to you, but it is to me and I am still waiting for mine to get here...

Week of Spring:  This is the post that started it all... FIRE ANTS!!!

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Of course one of the first things a photographer thinks about when spring arrives is TAKING PICTURES!!
Yes, I am so addicted to photography it truly feels as if; it runs in my blood-hmm, now that I think of it, it does, it is just an extension of my love for art!!  Here are some of my newest photos that I just uploaded this morning.

HOPEFULLY, I can keep this goal, but I want to try to post my newest artwork and photography on a daily base, you know just popping in to say Hello World and this is how I am enjoying Spring.  How about You? Are you out there enjoying this beautiful season yet?

FineArt Photos

Center of Attention

 

Beauty of a Tulip Tree Flower

   

 An Apple Tree Blossom

    

 A Sign of Spring

   

Goth Online Directory

Bittersweet

The companies I have listed have kick-ass clothing and accessories, and they are worth the recognition, so let's get started-please do take a look at these links, they do have some awesome items that will fit just about anyone's style who is a little on the darker side, and/or naughty side depending on who you ask. On most sites, if you sign up for their newsletters you usually get a certain percentage off of your purchase. Plus you will get notifications to upcoming sales!!

The Black Angel

Our online store is your one-stop shop for all the best brands in Gothic clothing and accessories, famous for quality, unique designs and outstanding service.

Black Moon Cosmetics

Black Moon Cosmetics has some of the most fantastic makeup products that smell like fresh baked vanilla cake!  The lipsticks are very pigmented, has a creamy formula, feels great on your lips and they are long wearing.  These are among some of the my favorite lipsticks. Try them and come back and let me know what you think.

Cryptic Cosmetics

This is one of my most favorite companies that sell great lipsticks. Their lipsticks are matte, Smell freaking divine!! Last on your lips and they have the most delicious colors you could dream of.  Two of my favorites (which I have been wearing almost daily lately) are 'Tortured Soul' and 'Rust in Peace.'  They do sell out fast so if you see something you like, grab it fast!

Vegan

Darkside

We design and hand print in England our own range of world famous clothing. Inspired by our love of alternative music and fashion we create Punk, Rock n Roll, Lowbrow, Kustom Kulture, Rockabilly, Tattoo and Gothic clothing.

Dysfunctional Doll

Dysfunctional Doll is one of my favorite online stores. On the site you can earn 'Bat' points to use towards future purchases.  Dysfunctional Doll sells beautiful jewelry, clothing, makeup, home decor, accessories and so much more.

Good Goth

Another one of my favorite online shops.  Everyone that knows me, knows I am a boot addict! This site has a wide range of great clothing, shoes, BOOTS and so much more! 

Gothic Angel

Welcome to Gothic Angel; the UK's number one specialist retailer for women's Gothic clothing and footwear. We stock the latest collections of ladies Gothic brands including New Rock, Demonia, Spin Doctor, Hell bunny and Iron Fist. We also stock new up and coming Gothic designers as well as cheaper alternatives for bargain shoppers.

Heavy Red

Gothic Fashions for men & women. Escape into the decadent world of love, darkness, and Romance.

HolyClothing

I found the exact skirt I was looking for at this place. They have some really pretty cloths. If you get a chance you should check them out.

Hot Topic

This is one of my favorite places. I have made some purchases from them and found their products and service both very good. They also ship pretty fast. Check them out especially the Sale Category!

Kate's Clothing

At Kates Clothing we aim to bring you an outstanding service with fast dispatch to ensure your selection flies from our arsenal into your wardrobe as soon as demonically possible. With the hottest brands from the darkest labels we're here to suit all your alternative tastes.

 Korpse Kosmetics

A makeup company that sells cruelty free, vegan mineral makeup products.  They specialize in super glittery eye shadows, bright pigmented lip paints and much, much more. Everything your little korpse heart desires... you will find here!!

Rivithead

Gothic clothing, creepers, platform shoes & boots, alchemy jewelry, accessories and much more

Spooky Boutique

This site had some pretty awesome stuff. Love the front page!!

Starlets Harlots

Visit us for Swing Dresses, Rockabilly 50's Clothing, Punk Clothing and Burlesque Clothing and; Accessories! They offer a $5 off $50 order by using code: HARLOTS at checkout

Goths for Sophie Buy or Donate

Who are we raising money for?
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation

On August 11, 2007, Sophie Lancaster and her partner were attacked by a gang of teenagers in a park in Lancashire. Instead of feeling, Sophie went to her partners aid.  The couple were kicked, stamped on and left unconscious for nothing more than looking different.  Sophie later died from injuries.  If anything positive is to come from her death, Sophie's family and friends would like it to be you.

Please click on the link to see more information!!

Sophie Lancaster-Backstreet Merchant

ALL SALES GO TO THE SOPHIE LANCASTER FOUNDATION