Ostara Spring Equinox Part 1

What a beautiful magical time of the year when the mother opens her eyes and all of natures beauty begins to awaken and breathe.  Ostara, the Spring Equinox is a time for fertility and sowing seeds.  It is the time to when mating season begins on all levels. We plant the seeds, nurture them and a plant grows. A seed is planted inside a human and a new child is born. What is there to not love about Ostara? 

Different beliefs celebrate this time according to their path.  Many believe this is a time that marks when the  young Sun God  marries the young Maiden Goddess -who will conceive and in nine months will become the Mother Goddess.  Easter is  celebrated the first Sunday after the full moon after the Spring Equinox. But regardless of what path you walk in life, the one thing in common is the fact all of nature awakens and brings forth some of the most beautiful, breath taken beauty you cannot help but fall in love with!

Ostara (The Spring Equinox) marks the balance of day and night, as the light begins to increase more and more giving all of us more time to tend our gardens and time to watch more beauty around us.  It is a time when you open your windows and allow the air spirits to come through and drive all negativity stale energy away leaving behind nothing but new fresh energy and beautiful smells.

This is a wonderful time to enjoy more leafy green vegetables, nuts and edible flower dishes. There is nothing more beautiful than having a fresh salad with nasturtiums, borage flowers, fresh pansies and other edible flowers. What is even more exciting is going outside in your yard and picking (what some refer to as weeds) fresh dandelion greens, chickweed and wide leaf plantain.  **Word of caution** If you should decide to pick some fresh greens in your yard, you need to make sure no pesticides have been used on them, they are away from road toxins but most important and I CANNOT stress this enough, RESEARCH before you eat anything from your yard. Also, just as a reminder, as you are harvesting your vegetables and flowers, save as many seeds as you can for next year's corps. It is not hard all you do is lay the seeds out and allow them to completely dry in an area will they will not be bothered, bag them after they are dried and label them with the name, and date you dried them.

Once Ostara has arrived, you will notice the daffodils. Usually they are everywhere and to be honest for this photographer I cannot get enough photos of them. Many of the bulbs type flowers like hyacinth, and tulips are beginning to wake up and show their beauty as well. Now if you are a kitchen witch, one thing I know you already do is collect the flowers, dry them and store them to use for different rituals.  One of the most popular things to do during Ostara is redecorate your altar mainly using flowers like daffodils, and other bulbs flowers. Once the flowers begin to fade and finish their cycle, these flowers can be dried, stored and used later.  Daffodils are used for Love, Fertility and luck.  They say if you wear a daffodil flower next to your heart, it will bring good luck.  If you place fresh daffodils in your bedroom it will increase fertility and as with more flower petals, they can be used in love spells but of course love spells should never be placed on anyone but yourself. You must love yourself before you can truly love another person..

Another one of my favorite flowers to dry and save is the Hyacinth. Hyacinth's not only smell sweet as honey but their energy is unbelievable. The hyacinth flowers are used for Love, Protection and Happiness.  They say if you have a pink hyacinth plant growing in your bedroom, it will help guard against nightmares.  As you smell the hyacinth flower it will relieve depression and grief and as like the daffodils, the hyacinth can be used in love rituals. 

Hugs

Reflections

"you have to make him or her very real in your arms, not just for the sake of appearances, patting him on the back to pretend you are there, but breathing conscious and hugging with all your body , spirit and heart." Thich Nhat Hanh

All of my life hugging has been something very important to me. Actually, I am a very good hugger. I am not saying that to sound conceited or superior but I am actually a very good hugger because I hug the way I want to be hugged. This morning when I read Thich Nhat Hanh thoughts on hugging it hit it right on for me, that is how I feel but never knew how to express it.

I know a lot of people who can hug you and it will take your breath away.  You can tell when someone hugs you with their body, spirit and heart.  That kind of hug can actually make you leave this realm for just a few seconds... it is a connection that is expressed so deeply.  I am not talking sexually here although when it comes to hugging sexually that is as important. But I am talking everyday regular meaningful hugs. 

A true hug can make a sad person feel happy, it is a sign of true compassion and a true sign that you really care what the other person is experiencing. To me, hugging and hand shaking are very similar. It actually offends me when someone has a weak limp hand shake. A hand needs to be firm, strong but not breaking your hand strong... strong that lets other people you are confident in who you are.  Hugging falls along the same line... a limp, weak hug feels meaningless. You do not know how many times I have had to bite my tongue not to say something when someone has given me a weak limp hug.

I totally understand each person do things their own way, and I do respect that... just keep in mind the next time you hug someone, your hug could be very healing for them.. either mind, body or spirit.  If you stop and think about it anyway... healing is done on many levels and a hug could be the perfect medicine for someone who is in pain or who is suffering silently.

Let's Play the Yo-Yo Game

Life is amazing sometimes, you take fifteen steps forward on a positive road, and because of one obstacle you fall back ten steps. I have read numerous things how the obstacles on our paths makes the journey more rewarding. I suppose on my good days, I can see the positive side of that, but on my down days it is like a slap in the face.

You study and gather new ideas and you become so motivated and filled with so much excitement and hope, but yet there are yo-yo days that makes you do a  nose dive straight into a hillside...and all you can do is stand there with your mouth dropped open like a cartoon character wondering what in the hell just happened.  One minute you hear echoes ...... all obstacles enhance your path ..... and the next minute you hear this little evil character on your shoulder saying, ' yeah right, WTF is going on!"

I have just recently started studying Buddhism and I truly believe that studying it has been Divine Sent because of all the coincidences that have gathered together bringing me to this moment. For one it has put me on a quest to find the true meaning or way to love without attachment. Trying to incorporate a lot of the Buddhism way of thinking into yourself can be very challenging (at least for me). But in the long run I know it will be very rewarding.

All through my other studies the one major key I have always learned is, you will never learn everything about something... things always change and thank goodness in life we will never stop learning regardless of what you are studying. But damn there has to be a way to take something into yourself and allow it to become one with you without playing the damn yo-yo game.

We take everyday situations and one minute we think yeah, I am cool with this situation.  The next minute you are saying WTF- I deserve better than this!  Or one minute you feel like you are floating in a cloud of softness and the next minute you are dragging your ass across thorns. The freaking yo-yo game... does that make you unstable? I don't think so... if you think differently that is truly cool you are allow to have your own insight, but me personally I do not think that makes me or anyone else unstable.  If you pick a rose and immediately put it into water, soon that rose begins to wilt-which means every second it changes- just like humans change every second.

So see, most of my articles/posts has a beginning and an end...today this is all over the freaking place and it is damn right okay!!  I love something I read this morning by: Thich Nhat Hanh-he said suppose someone standing on the side of a river bank - throws a pebble into the river. The pebble allows itself to sink slowly to the bottom where it rest as the water passes it by.  Too many times in life we try to rush everything we are involved in. And the outcome of rushing everything brings confusion to your mind, your being very much like this post.

I know what I am expressing and not saying here... but I wanted to post this just to show you it is okay to have days like this where everything feels screwed up and you feel like a puppy running in circles chasing your tail.  There are always going to be days where things just do not make sense, tomorrow will be a new day, you will have a fresh start and perhaps you and I both will see things differently. Today...... it's the yo-yo game.

Free Spirited

Spirit Horse Totem

As always when I have a question about something, one of the first places I go is to Google Search. One of the main reasons I do that is because for a lack of better words often I feel like I am the only one who wonders about different things sometimes.

I put into the Google Search What does being Free Spirited mean? Come to find out I am NOT the only who wonders about this, actually I found a pretty good blog article written by this girl who wondered the same thing.  Yes, many, many people are referred to free spirited, I am, she was and many others are.  But the question still remains, what does being Free Spirited mean?

Of course one of the first things that will show up in a Google Search is a dictionary's definition, which by the way according to the The Urban Dictionary :  Free Spirit is someone who is not weighed down by the troubles of everyday life.  A free spirit remains their self regardless of what life situations are.  They are not restricted by other people's opinions. That is a pretty good definition in my book.... BUT yes there is a BUT-to me it is more.

Another page I found interesting is a page that list seven things to becoming free spirited: (1) Understand what it means to be free (2) Pursue your passion (3) Let go of whatever is holding you back (4) Let go of whatever you are rebelling against without a higher purpose (5) Live in the moment (6) keep your ego in check and last but not least (7) Honor other people's freedom. Now first to be honest I did not know there were steps you could take to become-become being the main objective word here.. Free Spirited! That just goes to show you are never too old to learn something new!

Often in our lives we are many things without even knowing it or realizing it. With me personally, I have been referred to as a 'Rebel' all of my life.. yes, starting from early childhood my uncles always referred to me as being a 'Rebel'. Well, actually if you think about it, many 'Free Spirited' people can be referred to as a Rebel.  Most of the time we are not followers.. and I mean in that in the sense as following a group of beliefs that do not coincide with your own spirit/energy-  NOT following someone in a car traveling to a new area.

Free spirited people do not have to be a solid piece of a puzzle to fit into a larger picture, they create their own picture and become that picture.  I was obviously born the way I am, some have said I could be a product of my environment which could be true too but if coming from my environment has made into a free spirit or someone who does not give shit if I have to stand against the grain or not, then so be it.

Yes, there is a point to writing about this today... Long time ago I heard someone say you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink it.   I suppose in my mind, I feel whatever type of person you are there is a medium within you that is willing to share an energy with others so everyone can co-exist together without one being dominate over the other. It is like adding some unique energy together  to create a foundation for that relationship.

I have found in my own free spirit when it comes to relationships it is important to me that people be free flowing without expectations and chains.  However in that whole scenario you have to realize often in relationships (that you care about) you have to show you care a little more, you have to respect a little more and  you have to honor the other individual (s) just a little more. I have heard more than once that often someone who is free spirited may appear a little cold to others and often in their own little world, so showing feelings to other individuals may mean you need to try a little harder- that is if you truly care - if not than I say let your free spirit flow on...

Whatever meaning you have for being a free spirit is perfect for you, my meaning is perfect for me.  I do believe though that being free spirited or not..... often when it comes to all relationships the key words need to be-always try just a little harder if you care, if not just flow on and be free in your world. Free Spirits can come together and create their own energy flow... I know anything is possible, for me the keys are as I mentioned...try a little harder if you care.... What are your thoughts?

This Moment

When we wake up each morning, I am not totally convinced that we can automatically determine what kind of mood we are going to be in. Now this is NOT how everyone feels and I am not questioning them.  I know that I have read numerous times that there are several things each of us should do every morning before even getting out of bed... supposedly that will set the energy for the day. Since I have been learning and practicing very hard to try and just live each moment to moment.. if I should wake up in a bad mood or a sad mood, I know it is because I need to go through that experience.  Why try to change something that very well could be something we need to experience?

I love what Joseph Campbell wrote: "People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life.  I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive." That is from his 'The Power of Myth'.

How many times in your lifetime have you thought or have heard other people talking about and wondering what their purpose in life was? I have thought about it a little... to be very honest my thoughts were more along the line, what in the hell am I doing on this earth.  What many people do not fully understand is they may never know what their purpose in life was.   I could not for the life of me EVER understand the purpose of a murderer, rapist or child molester. I cannot even go there....

Many of us are like little babes trying to figure out how to live life and find fulfillment and meaning.  In that whole process a lot of life goes by wasted and not lived.  Joseph Campbell had the right idea.. feeling the rapture of being alive- the thought is exciting, scary and something many of us desperately need.  Feeling the rapture of intense pleasure or joy is something we often crave and need .. we need to feel a live and know we are actually making our own personal mark on our path and our journey.

In my world and because of different circumstances I have been through lately, I want to live each moment and be so grateful for that moment.  Because through all of my recent experiences the one and the most powerful lesson I have learned is: Life can be taken away in a snap of a finger... so here is to the rapture of being alive!

This too shall pass

I have been faced with a double whammy yesterday and today-Yesterday was my husband's birthday and today he has been gone for exactly two months.  I have been experiencing somewhat roller-coaster days... one minute I feel okay and somewhat balanced and the next minute sorrow tries to creep in and take over.

Like I mentioned in a previous post, whatever your belief is will become a huge stepping stone on your journey.  Yesterday when the sorrow tried to creep in, I took a long hot shower and as I allowed the water to completely envelope me, I silently asked for the water spirits to cleanse my aura and to seal any gaps my energy may have.  As I was doing this, it felt wonderful.  The warm water flowing down my energy... cleansing all of the negative thoughts away, sealing any holes there may have been .... it was just a wonderful experience.  I truly felt better for a little while after the shower, but then it hit me again that it was my husband's birthday.

Early this morning at 1:00 AM just as it did last month (December), I woke up with a horrible sorrow.  At 1:00 AM is when I found my husband in the hospital bed dead. So today, has not been the best day I have had.  The weekend before I took my husband to the hospital, he had an episode during the night and he mumbled (because he was losing his speech) to help him.  This morning when I took Sweetie outside to go to the restroom, one of my neighbors across the street was standing on his porch saying help me!

 

I got over to him as fast as I could with Sweetie freaking out because she does not like strangers... but if I hadn't stopped him, he was about to fall down the porch stairs.  After I got one of his family members outside to help him get inside, as I was walking across the street I thought I was going to faint.  The only thing I could think of was getting Sweetie and myself into the house. Once inside I felt like I was in shock because when I heard my neighbor asking for help, all I could hear was my husband from that weekend asking me for help.

Even though each of us goes through these kind of emotions today, tomorrow will be different. If we feel we need to be sad and grieve today, that is what we need to do.  We hope tomorrow will be brighter, and if it is that will be wonderful, if it isn't we will get through it the best way we can. To be honest, there are a lot of days that I do not know how to make things better... I feel dead inside,  but once Sweetie comes over to me and nuzzles my arm or hand, or she squeezes her head between my arm (yeah, I know don't ask) I swear everything changes.

Sweetie, my little darling has truly whole-heartedly been my lifesaver.  If I could give anyone  grieving a piece of advice today, it would be PLEASE get yourself a dog or cat.  Sweetie is my daily prescription of happiness.  If not for her, it scares me to think where I may be.

If you decide to get yourself a dog or a cat.. please go online and check your local animal shelters. There are a lot of animals that need someone to love, and they need someone to love them back.  I adopted Sweetie from a shelter and today, I thank the Divine every day for bringing her to me.  It has been a hard road for her because whoever owned her before must have treated her horrible....she is scare to death of everything.  But now that it is just her and I, I think we are good for each other and helping each other get through our sadness and hurt.

Speaking of... she is laying at my office doorway looking at me as if to say, Okay Mom it is my time now... let's go outside!

This is my little Sweetie-2014

Even the Moon Brings Memories

The first night at home after my husband's death, I was sitting outside and was looking at the moon.  It was going into the New Moon (or Dark Moon whatever you want to call it) and I can remember how there was only a sliver of the moon showing. This morning two days before his second month of being gone, the moon was the same way as the night he passed.

A Tibetan Master refers to the New Moon as a time to breathe calmly.  It is said in this state you can watch your emotions and not be affected by them.  During the New Moon your higher self gives you visions of your true purpose because during the New Moon represents 'New Beginnings'.

I can tell you during the night of my husband's death, I was anything but calm...the one thing that did hold true for me was it was a time of new beginnings. Once you are left alone without your spouse, you have one of two choices... 1. you honor yourself and give yourself time to grieve than get up and start a new journey on your own, OR 2. you simply give up.  You may have days where you feel like giving up but as I mentioned in other post the next day you will feel different.

Facts are facts, you will never be the same after your spouse passes.  When they died, they take a piece of your heart with them. But with whatever faith you believe in, you can and will survive even something as horrible as this.  But the true bottom line is, is it up to you how you want to handle this.  It is not up to other people to tell you how to feel or how to react, this is your call. That does not mean you have to be a bitch about it, listen and hear what your friends and family are saying...but YOU decide how much of the information you want or need to incorporate into your well-being.

I was wondering this morning, will I always remember and relive the night my husband died when I see the crescent moon? Isn't it somewhat funny how it is always the tiny little things that can often grab our attention and leave memories for a lifetime. Messages are given to each of us each and every day. The afternoon before my husband passed, ravens/crows told me they were there to take him. Of course I did not want to believe it, but they did.  Again, though, it depends on what your faith is as to what you believe or not believe. Being part Cherokee, I follow my spirit and connection to the earth and the messages we are given. People that believe in Christianity like my husband did, believed that whatever happened was in God's hand.

Your faith regardless of what it is, will become a powerful stepping stone for you.  Soon you will be able to at least accept the fact that things do happen in life and it is up to use to make the memories we want to carry on.  We honestly only have this minute, and it takes building from this minute to either live and move forward, or close yourself off to life.  Just remember this one thing, you are a strong individual, you may not believe that at the moment, but you are. I hate cliché's that say:  this experience is what  makes us who we are, but in the 57 years of life I have seen, every experience has made me into the person I am today,  The same thing goes for you as well. Just think about it......