Who Are You?

No that is not a trick question.... seriously, if someone asked  you that question how would you answer it?  Well, if you are thinking it is an easy question you are seriously wrong. It is a very deep question that will actually take a little (or a lot) of  time to think about.

Yes, of course you are the obvious you are male or female, you are mother, father, sister, brother. You have a job title, but do those things define who you are? Who is that under-line person that makes you a complete individual? You have to admit it is a very interesting concept to think about.

One of the biggest things in life is we have so many different labels glued to us, that often the underline person becomes an object that sits on the shelf and gathers dust.  Along with who are you-the next question would be.... what do you want to do with your life once you defined who you are?

Tricky, Tricky, Tricky... answer wisely or not.  When we start to describe who we are, you would think that our underlined goals would match up to the description we wrote about our self. Guess what, chances are that is going to be correct.  Once you define who you are, you will also get a handle on what you want from life and/or what you want to do with your life.

This was part of my homework from my therapy session. Guess what, when I was asked who I was... I stared at my therapist like a deer staring into headlights. I was shocked...seriously. So after thinking about it all day yesterday (which by the way I love being asked questions that make me think) and most of the night; when I got up this morning after thinking a little more, I was able to write out, who I am.

So I wrote it out, and along with it things appeared that I want that I did not realize.  So......I decided I wanted to write a post about this and would love to hear your thoughts, if you feel like sharing. I promise it is very interesting and will help you decide what you want out of life.... I am not sure this would be interesting to everyone or not, but I do know some people will find answering this question to be interesting. And believe it or not, it is a question that will teach you things about yourself-you may not have realized were there. 

No Matter How Strong

The Journey Never Ends

I am about to share some pretty private shit...and the reason why, hopefully to help others in some minutiae way.  All of my life my writing and my art has been somewhat odd but to me, very personal and I know exactly what it means. I understand no matter what I write people will see something in it that may not always be the concept of the post.  Don't get me wrong, to each their own, and I will respect that, but I will never be able to completely explain things I write nor will I ever try to do so again.

Through my other post I have expressed  some of the things I am experiencing from the lost of my husband.  I have down days and a few good days but lately I have felt my emotions getting out of hand. Yes, I understand the planets are lined up strange, and yes I understand we are picking up energy from the last eclipse, but there is more going on with me than I can understand.

I have learned that no matter how strong  you are, there are going to be weak moments. You may only have them in private  but I promise every person will have them.  Well, I am having my weak moment which I finally admitted to myself.   I have come to realize I cannot handle all of these emotions by myself and I sure in the hell am not going to burden anyone I care about with my problems.  So I found a therapist, made an appointment and beginning the later part of this week, I will be going to therapy sessions.

I cemented my husband this past November.   I have one of two choices, either I walk around with a cemented soul and feel dead or I fucking  wake up and live. I am making the choice to live.  I am so tired of pushing people away from me.. I allow them to take a few steps towards me and in a flip of a coin I knock them back fifteen steps.

  

Anyway, the whole purpose of writing this post besides hoping it will one day help someone else.. I just wanted to say just because I feel I am having a weak moment , giving in and going to see a therapist, does not make me a weak woman-it just makes me a woman who made a decision to live.  So.... if by chance you have lost someone in your life and you are having an internal battle and feel like you are coming unglued... do a Google search in your area- type in therapist and a list will come up. Go through the list and find one that feels right and has fees you can handle.  You are not being weak if you do that.... it just means you too have made a decision to live.