Let's hop on the coo-coo train

You know there are many different ways to say "Riding the Train",  but the  bottom line or the whole concept boils down to this: Either get on the train and keep moving forward or walk away from the train and find another route.

When we are trying to make a decision about something and sometimes we feel stopped up,  it is during those times we just need to hold our breath and jump off of the train or jump onto the train!!  When we jump -just find another one that feels good that will take us where we need to go.

There is one train ride that really keeps me laughing... The Coconut Oil train as a friend calls it.  Yeah, I was very slow getting on that train- but now that I am on it, I am really digging it.  My hair loves it, trust me on this one.  After you wash your hair and towel dry it...rub some coconut oil in your palms to melt it, rub that through your hair really focusing on the ends. YOU WILL BE AMAZED of the results!   So the Coconut Oil train is a ride I intend to keep on.

I have all of these other things I want to do, but I don't do them, why? Because I don't know why unless it is just being lazy.  SO I decided this morning enough talk about all of this shit, it is time to once again walk my talk...and that is exactly what I am doing.   I use to walk so many miles a week, but got out of it... well I set up my treadmill again and BAM I started walking.  Yeah, I am trying to be good and start slow but I will build the speed and distance up again. But I started on that health train ride again...

There are many times you will be riding a train, and no matter what you try to do, this train keeps falling off track.  You have tried everything you could think of to make it happen, but nothing helps.. Walk the F*ck away from it!  That does not make you weak, or pathetic NOTHING is worth your time when it is not being acknowledged !!

I don't know - to tell you the truth.... sometimes I think my stubbornness turns dead end situations into freaking challenges... The damn cat and mouse game!  I need to fix that because you know what I am not a horrible person, but because of some of  my beliefs I do stop for a little while and try to figure out things, which in turns makes me feel coo-coo... but once you are slapped in the face so many times, baby it is time to WTFA!!  My new slogan:  (If you do not like dirty words stop reading right here) WTFA=Walk- The -Fuck -A way

I am determined when I have tried everything I could think of in making something happen and nothing works, it truly is time to move on and start new adventures.  This will be the second time I wrote this today but Thich Nhat Hanh says that each morning we are given a new 24 hours to bring peace and find mindfulness to ourselves. Whatever train you are trying to ride, make sure that the ride brings you joy and happiness... don't waste your time on trains that are stopped and stagnant and not giving you a good ride. You are worth the best of train rides-and YOU can make that happen!! 

Often Promises are Unrealistic

Beauty in the Simple Things

Each person in life will have that one thing that means the world to them. Other than family, and so on, a life action, word or belief.  A promise to me use to be my one thing that meant the world to me.  I have never made a promise that I did not work my ass off to keep, until my husband passed.

During the time of his sickness, I made promises to him that truly were unrealistic.  At that time my only concern was to make my husband as comfortable - with everything as possible.  I have allowed the guilt of my unrealistic promises to get the better part of me lately.  Than something clicked in my mind, I am a live, I am human or at least going around in a human body... I am allowed to have a life, to breathe with ease, to feel beyond touch.  As a living person if I choose to give up, what does that say about my character?

Don't get me wrong, I have a hell of a long way to go in understanding and forgiving myself. But the truth of the matter is realizing how things react to other actions.  If my husband wasn't so sick, I may of realized the promises he wanted me to make were unrealistic and I wouldn't have made them.  I believe I can say that honestly because I know me the way I do.  And I believe the people that know me the best would agree with me.

Promises and Love both are two words that are thrown around without a second thought today.  There use to be a time when the two words meant a lot.  I suppose that may be one reason why I am going through some of the things I am, because I come from a generation that understood and held words in a great respect.

Coming to terms and realizing today that the promises I made were unrealistic helps me to breathe a little easier.  It's pretty funny once you allow yourself to talk openly to someone-how things begin to make sense again in your mind.  Breaking the unrealistic promises I made does not make me an untrustworthy person.  I believe that was one of the things I hated the thought of.

As time goes on, and the more I am able to release my guilt from this situation,  the faster I believe I will heal.  But as they always say... a journey begins with one step at a time.

Who Are You?

No that is not a trick question.... seriously, if someone asked  you that question how would you answer it?  Well, if you are thinking it is an easy question you are seriously wrong. It is a very deep question that will actually take a little (or a lot) of  time to think about.

Yes, of course you are the obvious you are male or female, you are mother, father, sister, brother. You have a job title, but do those things define who you are? Who is that under-line person that makes you a complete individual? You have to admit it is a very interesting concept to think about.

One of the biggest things in life is we have so many different labels glued to us, that often the underline person becomes an object that sits on the shelf and gathers dust.  Along with who are you-the next question would be.... what do you want to do with your life once you defined who you are?

Tricky, Tricky, Tricky... answer wisely or not.  When we start to describe who we are, you would think that our underlined goals would match up to the description we wrote about our self. Guess what, chances are that is going to be correct.  Once you define who you are, you will also get a handle on what you want from life and/or what you want to do with your life.

This was part of my homework from my therapy session. Guess what, when I was asked who I was... I stared at my therapist like a deer staring into headlights. I was shocked...seriously. So after thinking about it all day yesterday (which by the way I love being asked questions that make me think) and most of the night; when I got up this morning after thinking a little more, I was able to write out, who I am.

So I wrote it out, and along with it things appeared that I want that I did not realize.  So......I decided I wanted to write a post about this and would love to hear your thoughts, if you feel like sharing. I promise it is very interesting and will help you decide what you want out of life.... I am not sure this would be interesting to everyone or not, but I do know some people will find answering this question to be interesting. And believe it or not, it is a question that will teach you things about yourself-you may not have realized were there.