Have you walked in my Shoes?

There have been so many times in my life where people feel they can just talk to me about anything.  I really feel blessed in that department, because although I have F**ked up a lot in my life time, I try my very best to keep things to myself when people talk to me and about my own personal life.  There is ONE episode someone told me something, and I repeated it to someone not because it was gossip but because of my ego and fear was afraid that person would love someone else more than me.  That is not something I talk about, it happened many, many moons ago... and I am still paying Karma for it, in my heart and mind!  That is a situation I will never be able to fix,  I know that, and the others involved know that. But in that process it taught me a huge lesson, a lesson that to this day I live by.  

With the exception of that ONE episode, people truly do talk to me about some of the most amazing things, and also things I wouldn't know what to do about even if I could try, but that is some where we will not go... for sure!  Anyway, Lately, sickness, lost, being unbalanced, depression, mental disorders, and many related things have been told to me, shared with me, and the common denominator of everything is need for understanding why things are happening the way they are.  In my last post I wrote an article called Why if you are interested in reading it. This post is along the same lines but not exactly... this post is about "Walking in someone else's Shoes".

Many of us can speculate, relate and think we can understand what someone is going through.  But actually, it is not until you are able to walk in that person's shoes could you truly understand... And since it is almost impossible to walk in another person's shoes... the bottom line is we really cannot understand to the full capacity of what someone is going through. 

Many of us know people online and off line, that is battling different types of cancer.  I know what it is like to take care of someone with cancer. I know how tired a person can get, both physical and mentally.  I have seen the excitement of remission, and the sadness of death from cancer.  We feel, we give compassion, we give support, we do everything possible that we can do to help.  But the fact remains, those of us who have taking care of a loved one with cancer, do not know the horrible feeling that goes into your body with chemo.. or the horrible feeling after the treatments.  We sit there for hours watching our loved one sleep peacefully under a warm blanket while chemo is slowly being injected in them.  We cry for them, with them, we scream in silence because we want to be brave for them... but we are not wearing their shoes, nor are we able to hear their silent screams of fear and worry. 

Mental illness, disorders or however you want to refer to it, is the same thing. When you are battling a mental disorder, I have actually heard people say to others... just stand up, dust off your ass and move on.. often they feel that depression, anxiety and other mental disorders are self inflicted attention grabbers.   How F**king ignorant people can be!  So those with mental disorders, just decide to go to the grocery store... trying very carefully to go down isles where there are no people just to have a battle of anxiety hit them... where they feel like their heart is trying to jump out of their chest, they break out in a cold sweat, or their legs become weak and their hands start shaking.. just to get attention?? Get F**king real! Or what about the days, a person gets up, feeling drained, tired like they haven't slept in a month, they have no energy to do anything, do not want to see nor talk to anyone?  Are they too trying to grab attention?

However, what about those times when a person speaks very bluntly to another person.. and that person becomes shocked and thinks you flipped your damn ass, because they cannot understand why the other person is so upset with them? People cannot understand what a person is mentally going through or thinking, unless you are walking in their shoes AND AGAIN that is impossible to do.  Many artist, writers, spiritual people and yes, healers... have different outlets that they try to use to help other people understand what could be going on in their mind... sometimes people can somewhat understand, other times they just don't.

People with mental disorders, and/or diseases like cancer... have to train their mind to see and hear 'life' differently than the quote, unquote normal people. There are very, very good days, and there are very bad days for people who suffers with disorders/diseases.  The whole point of this blog post is just to say, please do not think people with mental disorders are just out there to get attention..  Mental disorders are real, they are hurtful, you suffer terribly, you hurt the ones you love and you damn sure are not looking for attention.  

Each of us who deals with things like this, understand each and every one of us, deals with things in our own way... a way that is right for us as individuals.  Right, Wrong, Indifferent, it does not matter... We are trying to survive the best way we can.  Yes, I fall under this category... others who suffer the same thing as I do, understands none of us will ever know what it is like to walk in other peoples shoes - at best we can relate to the circumstance the best way we can.